Magazines get a little crazy around Christmas time don't they? One of my mother's regular reads had some "celebrity" santas in the buff as you can rather delightfully see above. Heat managed to show it's clout by getting some slightly bigger stars to pose in their festive double edition, that almost saved it's subscription with me. It's teetering on a knife edge so I will see how charitable I feel when the renewal card comes through :) Not long til Christmas now is it? I really need to crank up my festive jovialities by watching some more movies, reading more seasonal tomes, listening to more funky Christmas tunes and of course drinking far more Toffee Nut Lattes (with cream and sprinkles, because obviously I'm not fat enough) from Starbucks. Plus, I remember that almost exactly a year ago, the Gap in the Bullring had an extremely wise promotion on their underwear – all their foxy staff were dressed in boxers, scarves and santa hats. Genius. Now I have a better, more discreet camera phone, I can only hope they repeat the amazingicity this year… PS ~ it was most surreal this morning. Usually I awaken to a cacophony of communication – texts, comments, myspace messages, emails, a voice message from my mom to say good morning (she still calls all her kids every day to say hello/leave a "hello" message!) but today nada! Zilch! Zippo! Boo! It was eerie ;) And when I got to work, I knew the world was akimber as I had no work emails either. Eep. Maybe I have been erased…
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THE X-FACTOR RETROSPECTICUS:

Sigh. It all started off so promisingly. After Michelle McMammoth didn't deliver hits as big as her waist (charting at a number that is the same as the inches round your waist doesn't count), Pop Idol was quickly dispatched with and X-Factor was born. Which really was Pop Idol with more categories and a way for Simon Cowell to make more money. And at first it was all very exciting. There would be groups (yay!) and old people (less yay!) competing against the former pop idol wannabes. 2004 saw Steve Brookstein and G4 in the final, with Steve taking the prize. And from that second on it was clear that the X-Factor was all about making money through the advertising on television and the phone votes. There would be no real care and attention paid to the winner. Steve was saddled with some ropey Phil Collins cover and quickly faded into obscurity. In fact it is the only Idol/X winner song not to debut at number one, and one suspects it wouldn't have climbed higher than it's number two debut had the canny decision not been taken to declare it a charity record after the Dec 26th tsunami. The problem was Steve didn't have the X factor and actually G4 should have won the competition. They were vocally outstanding and bought something different and fresh to the world of pop. But then so did 2005 winner, Shayne Ward. As soon as Shayne took the stage in the live shows, it was clear that here was a guy who had the look, the looks, the chav makes good backstory and a stunning voice to back it up. He was one of the few contestants then and since to choose mainly contemporary numbers (Justin timberlake, scissor sisters, take that the week their documentary aired…) and everything about him just screamed POPSTAR! He'd proved he could dance and be funky, so why he was saddled with an album full of ballads is beyond me. Luckily, Simon Cowell seems to have realised his mistake and the boy's potential and a more diverse, upbeat album is promised for the new year which will hopefully see Shayne bring the REAL sexy back. Rar, etc……
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LINK: Buy Shayne Ward's debut album
MP3: Shayne Ward – All My Life
MP3: Shayne Ward - Hit The Ground Running
MP3: G4 – I Don't Like Mondays
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THE BLISSFUL CREATION OF A POP SONG:

Contrary to popular belief, I don't think it is easy to write a pop song. I think you have to know what ingredients to put in and be a master of your craft to have it come out the way you envisioned it. A good upbeat pop song needs an element of danceability, a smidgeon of novelty value (not too much or you end up in one hit wondersville), a chorus so powerful it needs it's own generator, a middle eight that provides a few seconds respite while keeping you anticipating the all important final crescendo and finish. Many songs have parts of these and are good, but it's the inclusion of all that elevates a song to greatness. Xenomania do it well, as does Richard X and often tinker with the formula to stop their various acts sounding staid. At the risk of repeating myself, Jadion also does it incredibly well. This year I have been bowled over by the work he, Fayden and Simon Curtis have produced – it embraces the elements listed above, pays a healthy homage to the very best of Swedish pop productions and still manages to come out sounding cutting edge and contemporary. I was most interested to see how the work with girl group Bliss would go. I came across some songs on their site that were run of the mill euro pop, yet something shone through that indicated the girls were destined for greater things. In the hands of Jadion, it's been achieved. Think how bracing and thrilling listening to Sugababes' Freak Like Me was the first time you heard it and you are pretty much there. Bliss have taken an Eddie Money song no less and turned it into a 3 minute collage of seductive harmonies, electro-beats, Spector-ish throwbacks (LOVE the subtle 'be my baby' refrain) and a chorus so sinfully catchy you feel guilty listening to it. In my alternate reality of pop, the charts would be full of songs like this and Simon's Broken ranking alongside Scissor Sisters, Jamelia's Beware of the Dog and Rachel Steven's Crazy Boys. It's what pop in 2007 should sound like. Now if only I could get him to revitalise Deborah Gibson's career…
. LINK: Bliss myspace site
LINK: Jadion's myspace site
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THE SINGLES SELECTED COMMITTEE RECONVENES: